I was tired from biking the boards, trudging sand, chasing whales.

As I rode home, I hoped I wouldn’t see another whale because—I’d have to stop—again. No matter how tired, thirsty, or hungry, I can’t see a whale and just keep peddling.

But as I approached Neptune Blvd, one of three men standing near the dune crossover yelled, “Wow!” I stopped and asked, “A whale?” He said, “Yes, right out there,” pointing.

I crossed to the dune ramp’s south rail and asked a young lady, “Did you see the whale?” She said, “Yes, but it was far out.” I scanned the sea but didn’t see one.

As I was about to leave, I handed her my card; I said, “I take photos of whales and write about them, too. ” She looked at the card and said, “You’re Lee, Leebythesea?” I said, “Yes.” She said, “I’m Stephanie. Cheryl is in my yoga class, and I’ve heard so much about you. I’m so glad to finally meet you.” I said, “And I’m glad to finally meet you. Cheryl loves your yoga class and thinks the world of you.”

Stephanie Durso told me she has lived in Long Beach almost her entire life, so I asked if she wanted to record an oral history for our library’s archives. She agreed, and I made the recording.

As we left the boardwalk, Stephanie said, “The word of the day is serendipity because we were at that rail simultaneously.” I agreed.

The whale set up this essay.

The breaching mammal caused a Wow! Then, the meeting at the rail.

Thus began a beautiful conversation with a lovely young lady. Thank you, whale.

Had all that not happened synchronously, I’d have peddled home without our meeting. Yes—serendipity by the sea.

I asked Stephanie if I could write an essay about her yoga on the beach journey. She said, “Sure.”

I’ve seen Stephanie twice since our first meeting, once when I met her for this essay interview, at the Monroe Blvd Beach ramp…

…and when I took photos of her and her Beach Warriors at Grand Blvd Beach:

Stephanie Durso’s family moved from the Bronx to Long Beach when she was two. She attended Maria Regina High School for two years, then graduated from Long Beach High. She had an administrative career as a legal secretary and medical transcriber.

She said, “So I did all that and found it not fulfilling; it was just kind of suffocating being behind a desk. 
I was good at my job but found no absolute joy.”

This career shifting of gears sounded familiar; I inched my phone closer to her.

Decades ago, Stephanie joined the Bridge Club gym. It has since closed but was located at the foot of the Long Beach bridge. Importantly, it had a daycare. Stephanie had to have her child nearby; she and her husband now have two daughters.

Stephanie took some classes at the Bridge Club and liked the instructor, Carol Meli. One day, she asked Carol, “How do you become a fitness instructor?” Carol guided her through the process.

We never know the importance of human crossroads when one question can change the course of a life. Carol Meli not only answered the question but also helped another human being. That’s cool. We need more Carol Melis. Hello out there?

Stephanie said, “So I became a certified fitness instructor about 30 years ago. You have to maintain this continuing education credit. I’ve done everything from basic aerobics to step aerobics, kickboxing, and Zumba.”

Stephanie built up her clientele while teaching those classes. But then she said, “I found the true love of my life in the fitness world—yoga.”

Now, Stephanie teaches at the Long Beach Senior Center, the Long Beach Public Library, The Long Beach Pod Spa, The EAC Point Lookout Senior Center, and local nursing homes, where she teaches chair yoga; on top of all that, she teaches yoga on the beach, weather permitting.

Stephanie has been at the Magnolia Senior Center for twenty years and loves the people she teaches. She says, “I’ve grown with them, and, you know, they’ve watched me grow; some of them have been with me all along, and I meet new people all the time.”

Stephanie said, “It’s such a great community. I’ll tell you, our seniors in Long Beach, and I’m talking, anybody from the age of 60 and up who can join, are so vibrant. I have people from 60 to 90 years old in the class.” 

Her eyes widened when she said,  “I love it. It’s so rewarding to see the people, and then they say, ‘look, since I’ve been coming to your class, I can move my arm like this, I’ve been going to physical therapy, but now this is what’s helping me.”

She also thinks that just being with one another is so helpful. She said, “It’s that feeling of community and friendship they get.”

A “feeling of community” is so important today. Too many of us feel lonely.

As I reported in a past essay, the Surgeon General’s report said:

Loneliness is far more than just a bad feeling—it harms both individual
and societal health. It is associated with a greater risk of cardiovascular
disease, dementia, stroke, depression, anxiety, and premature death.
The mortality impact of being socially disconnected is similar to that
caused by smoking up to 15 cigarettes a day, and even greater than
that associated with obesity and physical inactivity.

The NY Times recently reported that it’s not only children who are being harmed by too much tech,

adults too:

One in two adults report experiencing loneliness: “And, perhaps unsurprisingly, some people who felt lonely also exhibited addictive personalities — in this case, to streaming videos — that kept them indoors.”

Coming together is so beneficial in many ways. We shouldn’t underestimate the value of being with others, joining a group at anything.

Stephanie said, “They have such great programs, both the Magnolia Senior Center and the library. They’re all free to everybody. Not everybody knows about it, but there are so many different things besides the classes that I teach. They have dance classes, art classes, and photography.”

Stephanie’s students often perform a Yoga warrior pose on the beach, so she calls them her Beach Warriors. They love to go to the beach, even if it’s cold—unless it’s too cold.

They’ve never been on the beach in November as they were when I took these shots. Stephanie usually has about ten or twelve students on the beach, but today, she had four.

Stephanie said many of the poses are challenging, so they take a timeout and do the mountain pose, where they face the ocean. She said, “You’re just standing still, appreciating the beauty, and feeling your groundedness in your feet.

I say to them, ‘Watch the wave hit the edge of the jetty and watch the spray come up from the wave,’ I point out to them to just take a moment, take a time out,”

Stephanie said that she feels tingling in her body when doing this pose. She said you don’t get this feeling working out in a gym. “You don’t stop and go, ‘Oh, can I feel the energy in my body,’ But in yoga, we do.”

Stephanie said, “Yeah, just focusing on your breath and the sound of your breath; the sound of the ocean makes you feel grounded and secure and peaceful. This way, it’s mental rejuvenation, not physical.”

“We breathe all day long,” Stephanie said, “we breathe when we’re sleeping; we don’t have to think about it. But in a yoga class, when we focus on the breath, the worries in your life kind of get put on the shelf for a little while, At least for that time.”

Stephanie said, “So we always bring ourselves back to the breath, and as a teacher, I remind people, ‘Okay, come back to your breath because then the mind’s going to go to the next thing: ‘Well, after this class, I have to do this, this, this, and this. And then I say, ‘But wait a minute, we have this moment right now. 
So let’s live in the moment and be right here, appreciating my breath.”

“You know, even when the poses get tough,” she said, “and I have them holding the pose for a little while and the leg is burning. I’m like, okay, send your breath there now; if you want to try to stay, think about that muscle, breathe into it, and then it will relax.”

Stephanie said she sometimes gets an experience she wasn’t expecting. And if it’s a positive one, she always shares it.

In inverted poses, like downward dog, Stephanie said, “When the head is down,  I say, ‘take a moment, look at the world behind you upside down.’” What a great idea to share, to look at life before us with new eyes, upside down eyes.

I thought that was applicable in many ways.

By seeing things with new eyes, we can gain a new perspective on life, and our personal lives. Maybe we need to see past what we’re used to seeing—what we are so familiar with—to find what is.

And what needs to be changed.

Stephanie told her Warriors, “Try to get all of your senses together, so you’re breathing, your feeling, in your posing. 
You can smell the clean air, listen to the breath, and try to keep your mind in the moment.”

One comment by a student touched Stephanie deeply.

She said. “A woman had to move away and said, ‘Is there any way I could just record your voice? Because your voice is so comforting to me.’” Stephanie said, “Well, that was a sweet really sweet compliment.”

Can anything be more complimentary than someone wanting to take your voice with them?

Stephanie Durso loves what she does. Every day at her job brings joy. She loves her students in the Senior Center, in the library, and on the beach.

It all started one day in the Bridge Club. The day she saw her future with new eyes, eyes. She turned her routine life upside down when she asked Carol Meli, “How do you become a fitness instructor?”

I said to Stephanie, ‘I’m glad to meet yet another person who shifted gears and escaped their career path to enjoy life and pursue their passion. That’s you, right?”

She said, ‘Yes, because I feel like I’m helping people, and it’s so rewarding. You feel it in your heart what you just got from people as they leave the class. 
They enjoy the music I sometimes play, depending on what type of class it is. They sing along. 
Everybody’s like, ‘We’re in a party. We’re in a sing-along.’ What’s better than that?” 

Yes, what’s better than having so much joy in bringing joy to others? I see a heart barely contained in such a tiny body. This woman, this lovely woman, is where she needs to be.

As we finished our conversation at Monroe Blvd crossover, I noticed Stephanie looking over my shoulder and smiling.

She said, “As I’m talking to you, I keep looking there,” pointing. “The whale keeps coming up. Do you see him out there? 
He’s in front of where that lady is. I just can’t stop looking; I can’t pull myself away from it; there he is!” She was so excited to tell me about the whale.

Stephanie added, “You know, even though they’ve been here for a week now, I’m never going to get tired of it, and the same thing when the dolphins come. Yeah, just being out here in November, still doing yoga on the beach, is a miracle.” 

I thanked Stephanie and headed for the whale she pointed out. I’m sure it was the same one that introduced us.

Stephanie can be reached through her Stephanie Ann Page on Facebook.

Be well,
Leebythesea